revenge of the geekster

TGIF (vol. 2): leave me alone…wait, hold on.

askmen

Sooooo….this came up a few days ago in a google.

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And…I didn’t hate all of it. Just some of it. Here’s the link.

It talks about ways men can make women fall in love with them. It also brought to mind a song I was listening to just the other day that seems vaguely appropriate, so I’ve linked it below for you as well.

You’re welcome. Read More

throwback thursdays (vol. 13): in honor of the Kid

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This week being the Kid’s birthday, I thought I’d dredge up a post about he and I from way back.

In the same spirit, today’s TBT picture is from waaaaay before I started blogging, in fact before he was born. Yes, that’s me. Yes, I’m pregnant.

And yes, I’m in a Winnie the Pooh costume.

You’re welcome.

Enjoy!

Click here to go straight to today’s Throwback Thursday post!


i am a fire hazard

Originally posted on: 1/14/2007

So, okay.

Based on my dear Vilate’s review of Night at the Museum, I went and picked up the Kid for the evening to go see it.

She was totally right, it is totally worth it. Even when you’re crammed into the second row in the only two seats left together in the entire auditorium.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I tried to be proactive and purchase the tickets on Fandango. Which, incidentally, does not give you access to the matinee rate, but by the time I figured that out it was too late.

So I was proactive and I got our tickets, and I went to pick up the Kid, whom I missed hanging out with last week because of the snow, and I have to tell you, there is nothing like the feeling of being hit by a fifty pound cannonball screaming “Mommy!” and throwing himself into your arms.

Click here to continue reading today’s throwback thursday post…

yep. it still looks like sh*t.

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In case you’re wondering, no, my yard and garden has not magically grown back overnight. housefront_labels

I took more pictures. Maybe I can use these as the “before” pictures when I do something about this next spring and summer. If it doesn’t just get pruned back by an over-zealous landlord, that is.

The worst is this camellia. Is it just me or does it look completely weird and lopsided now? Is this the way it’s supposed to look?

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The rhodies also look so weird, like little stunted trees instead of plump, round bushes like they’re supposed to. The lavender bush, which was SO full and huge, is now looking like an upside down whisk broom, and all the ornamental grasses that were around it are now gone.

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The rose bushes have been pruned back so hard I don’t know if they’ll grow back next year.

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All the ground cover around the one remaining tree in my front yard is like…gone.

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I think the worst is like, it’s all bare dirt now. And he said to me, “look, your curb appeal is back” like I should be super happy about it. What curb appeal? I don’t even want to look at it anymore.

He came to the door the night he cut down my tree to tell me he was leaving. I asked him what happened to the tree and he said that he was bummed too but that the maintenance crew offered to do it at no extra charge and that “it’s less maintenance” for him now, and that his wife wanted him to. I guess she thinks that the tree was compromising my security? Like how? And he mentioned that not having the tree will make it easier to put in security cameras? Great. I told him that I was really upset and disappointed and he just kept repeating how it would be easier to maintain now and that it was for “my security”. Uh…okay.

I love, love, love, LOVE my house. I don’t want to move, but jeez. That’s what I’m feeling like right now. Until now I thought my landlord was pretty great and that I was pretty lucky. Now I’m just depressed.

My yard is ugly, my tree is gone, and I didn’t ask for more security. OR cameras. Or any of it. Dammit.

jeez, i feel old.

kid and me_bw

Today is November 11th. Which is, of course, Veteran’s Day. And also: The Kid’s birthday.

There is (naturally) a 100 Miles post about the day he was born, which is now officially 14 years in the past. I really can’t believe that this face

TAY-0142Is now 14 years old. Let me spell it out for you. F-O-U-R-T-E-E-N Y-E-A-R-S O-L-D.

Gah.

IMG_3094He’s the love of my life, my pride and joy, and I love him so much. It’s worth feeling old to see him growing up. I can see glimpses of the man he will become, and…I am happy. So happy.

Love you, buddy, forever. I’m so grateful to have you in my life.

Happy birthday.

 

 

forget twitter for dummies…is there a ‘being funny for dummies’?

I feel like I’m so much funnier in real life.

I subscribe to a bunch of blogs that frequently leave me giggling out loud, but I struggle so hard to come up with a witty-yet-meaningful comment that I paralyze myself into doing nothing. So, I’m pretty sure most of the people I follow think I’m some kind of stalker and/or cleverly disguised bot just waiting to spam them with comments like “I like so much your creativity. May I suggest to you more pictures? Buy all your auto parts here.”

(Side note: am I the only one that actually reads through the spam comments trying to determine if they really are real people that got into spam by accident?)

Because I am not, in fact, a bot, and because I do actually want to interact with the actual human beings that write the stuff I read, I have actually stewed over a potential comment for days then gone back and made one days after the post was, well posted. I figure that I kind of look like the kid that shows up a day late to the party all confused, that you kind of pity but don’t really want hanging around after the party’s over. Thankfully at least no one has asked me to go home yet.

(Does anyone else do this? Or are all of you just that spontaneously witty?)

I believe in my inner comedian, though. One day I’m going to bust out with a super funny post that everyone will love and share and comment wildly on.

I’ll start now and then maybe be done next year when it will still be totally relevant.

my new gadget: bluetooth music!

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You guys, I am so excited about my newest gadget.

Until recently, this is how I listened to music in the shower. Or any other situation where I was not in my car and wanted to rock out to some tunes:IMG_4061

By the way: for those of you that may not know this, you can stick a phone in a cup to amplify the sound. Cleaning kitchen? Taking a shower? Stick your phone in a cup. It’s not great, but it’s loud.

But all that is in the past now, my friends. Because now I have THIS:

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Its the HEX TL Wireless Bluetooth Portable Speaker by 808Audio. I’m not kidding when I tell you that I didn’t even have to look at the quick start guide to get it up and running. You guys, knowing me, will know that this means it was: Super. Simple.

I think I got it all hooked up and playing tunes in like, less than five minutes. And most of that was just figuring out how to open the package.

What I really like about it:

The packaging is great, though it did take me a few minutes and my keys to get the stickers off the clear plastic case and to actually get the case apart.

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I kind of think I can use the case for something else crafty, though. It’s that cool.

The second thing is the soft little feet:

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The picture is awful but the feet are nice and soft and make it feel a little bit more…plush? Expensive? Less likely to damage my furniture and/or countertops?

Thirdly, it has this neat little sound effect it does when you turn it on. Also, the buttons are the kind that seem better (firmer? sturdier?) than cheap plastic wobbly ones. Am I the only one that judges the quality of an item based on the buttons? These ones are good.

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It comes with an AC adaptor that lets you plug it into the wall, although it takes what looks like eight AA batteries. There’s also a cord for attaching it to an auxiliary (?) such as your computer or phone, I’m guessing.

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The best part is the Bluetooth. To hook it up, I turned it on and the blue light started flashing. I went to the Bluetooth options on my phone, and voilà! There it was. I selected it, and within like 2 seconds my music was playing through it.

At first I was a little disappointed because I turned the volume all the way up and it still wasn’t very loud…but then I realized that the volume on my phone was set at like, 2. Once I turned the phone volume up, the speaker got loud. And I mean, loud.

I’m by no means an audiophile so I can’t speak to how many amps or however you quantify or measure sound quality it has, but when the volume was low I didn’t hear any static or white noise at all, and when I turned the volume up, the sound was really crisp and clear. Even with a bass-y song on, it didn’t distort or sound like it was about to explode.

All good things.

The only drawback I’ve found so far is that it takes like 8 or so (I haven’t checked for sure) AA batteries if you want to run it without the AC adaptor. Which I’m going to need to do since the plug in my bathroom no longer works. Not because of this.

Also, I am sad to report that I couldn’t find it on Amazon. The Hex SL was on there, but not this one.

I haven’t tested to see whether I can use my Bluetooth headset AND play music through this at the same time yet. We’ll have to see what happens. I wouldn’t be surprised if I can’t, because something about that doesn’t sound like it would work.

Woot! Off to go listen to some music NOT in a cup!

retiring the blackberry…finally.

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At long, long last, my company has decided to replace this antiquated artifact of phones past:

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With this!

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YES it is pink. I am not a huge fan of the 5c but I LOVE THAT IT IS PINK.

It’s all set up and even receiving emails and appointments like a boss. First thing I did? Set my wallpaper, naturally. Priorities.

You might wonder why I have two phones, now two iPhones, no less. There are a few reasons, actually:

  1. My work requires that we install a third party device manager on our phones to keep our emails secure. This management software allows remote users to access data on my phone, wipe it, add/remove users, etc. When confronted with the idea of putting this on my personal phone, which, as we all know is 95% selfies and 5% other stuff, I freaked out and refused. So, because I have to have a phone to use for work, I now have two.
  2. In the distant past, my personal phone has on occasion been shut off for one reason or another. This prevented me from getting actual work done. Enter, work phone paid for by work.
  3. Secondarily to #2, I was using my personal phone for work calls, using up minutes and data for non-personal use. Didn’t like that much.

In reality I am trying to list out things in order to convince myself that I will be just fine carrying around two phones. I am happy that now I have a mobile device that allows me to get calendar appointments and email so that I don’t have to log in from my computer all the time, (and did I mention it is pink?) but I imagine that I will struggle at first with carrying (and potentially losing) TWO phones instead of just one.

Oh well. It’s pink.

TGIF (vol. 1): a body for every body? except mine. and those of most women i know.

Inaugural TGIF episode!

Today I’m writing about one of my favorite topics. The original TGIF I had planned for today ended up getting just a little too heavy. I’ll keep it on the back burner for a future episode. Maybe.

Today’s TGIF, therefore, is inspired by this tweet:

perfectbody

Click here for an article by Kit Steinkellner about the original ad or here for an article by Samantha Allen about the slogan change, both from my new favorite site hellogiggles.com.

Did any of you know about this? Victoria’s Secret had an ad campaign in the UK featuring 10 airbrushed, so-called “perfect” models called the “Perfect Body”. You can see an image of the original ad in the article I handily linked for you above. the authors of both those articles say all the things I would have liked to have said first, but much better than I would have said them. You get it.

I don’t have much to add here that wasn’t already said in either of those articles, or in the Dear Kate response. Mostly I just wanted to tell you about it.

I mean, we all know that the majority if not all of the Victoria’s Secret models are not representations of your average “real” women. We do know that, right guys? They’re not real, at least not looking like that.

Yet somehow, the people that approve these marketing ads or whatever at Victoria’s Secret didn’t see anything wrong with green-lighting an ad with these models on there and calling it, in whatever sideways fashion, the “perfect body”.

They have since changed the slogan to “A Body for Every Body”. Huh?

I’m pretty sure that several of those styles wouldn’t come anywhere near to successfully holding up or covering up my private bits, even if they did carry something in my size. Which, in case you were wondering, they don’t. Or at least, not in the four or five products I clicked on to make sure I wasn’t talking out my ass.

So already we’ve disproved the “body for every body” slogan.

perfectbodyeverybody

Image from here

As the author of the article so eloquently points out, this new ad is the same set of models. Just different words. I don’t know if I really expect anything different from Victoria’s Secret, but I feel validated in not having purchased anything from them in a very long while.

What is cool though, is that I found a bunch of sites in my google today that do offer cute lingerie in my size (and beyond), such as Hips And CurvesDear Kate (the one mentioned in the article, and you have to love their primary ad) and the old standby, Torrid. What I like about those sites is that the plus size lingerie is not actually modeled by less-than-plus-size models.

Not that plus-size is the only non-”perfect” body type out there. It just happens to be my body type. I’m glad to see companies like Dear Kate and others that are deciding to celebrate the variety of shapes and sizes that women come in, instead of throwing this out there at us as the “standard”.

So what I’m saying is…Victoria’s Secret can suck it. Basically.

where are my plants?

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You guys, I’m pretty heartbroken right now.

One of the things I absolutely loved about this house from the moment I saw it was the greenery. There were rhododendrons, several trees, huge hydrangeas, and an enormous camellia tree in the front yard. It made me happy just to look out and see all the plants and…greenness.

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new series: TGIF (or something)

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This coming Friday marks the start of a new series for yours truly, wherein I find something in my newly established Twitter feed (go me!), my well established Facebook feed, or even my tried-and-true google searches, and comment on it.

Because if there’s anything I know how to do, it’s to spout random opinions on stuff.

I haven’t decided on a name yet (submissions welcome), so in the meantime we’ll call it Totally Got It From Facebook. I will post on Fridays, and it will be TGIF. See what I did there?

I haven’t quite settled on the name yet, though. Now that I have escalated my social media presence into the lofty planes of Twitter, I feel like I can no longer limit myself to what I find on Facebook. It’s a pickle, and once again I find myself stuck for something catchy. No doubt something will occur to me two seconds before I fall asleep and I will have completely forgotten it in the morning.

Who knows? Maybe it’s already happened and I just don’t remember it.

I’m so excited about this that I already have this Friday’s source post identified and I’m working on my commentary as we speak. I’m not expecting it to like, break social boundaries or bring about world peace, but it might be slightly entertaining.

Now to just create a logo graphic…ugh.

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