silent dumping. even more gross than blind friend adds.

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Okay so I’m going to talk about silent dumping really quick. This is that phenomenon that occurs when two people are in a relationship (friendship, sex-ship, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever) and one party decides for whatever reason that they’re not interested in continuing abovementioned relationship any further. You know what I’m talking about, everyone has experienced this bullshit at some point in their lives.

Only, instead of actually manning up and just saying that it’s over, the other person silently dumps you. Mysteriously your phone number gets removed from their phone or your email address gets deleted from their address book or whatever, it’s all crap. Then one day you’re browsing myspace and you see that the person who can’t give you the courtesy of a goodbye slap on the ass just met the freaking love of his life. Which is fantastic. Really. I mean it. It’s just that silent dumping is the WORST way to leave someone hanging. This is like walking into their house, peeing on their carpet, and hiding it under a piece of dirty underwear you found behind the toilet. Then leaving the door open on your way out so that when they get home, someone robbed them blind and took all their Cheetos. Don’t be the silent pee-er. Admit that you peed, put the underwear in the hamper where it belongs, and don’t let the door slap your ass on the way out.

So, today’s lesson is: everyone wants at least one person in the world who will be totally honest with them. Be that person next time. Don’t perpetuate the madness. If you’re not into someone, just tell them. Have the balls to own up to your new relationship and let them at least leave with a little bit of their dignity intact. And plus it gives them a chance to be pissed at you if they want. Which they might. Deal with it. Be a man, for crying out loud.

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