To most people, I think games are kind of a bad word. To say someone is playing games makes them sound dishonest or inauthentic or something. But seriously…life is a game. It’s fun! Everyone plays games to some extent or another. The difference is in the intent. Hasn’t everyone not called someone they liked because they didn’t want to seem to eager? How about the famous 3-day-before-you-call rule? Those are games. How about sex games? Those are fun. All kinds of games, and they’re not meant to hurt, they are meant to attract, or to make you seem more attractive. I think its sad that people feel the need to pretend that they don’t feel something in order to get someone to like them. Why isn’t it okay for someone to just tell someone how much they like them? Why is it always about “holding back” or “keeping the mystery alive”?
The difference is when games are played just to toy with someone. There’s the point where it becomes dishonest. I’m sure we’ve all met people that play with others just because they can, because they get a rush out of it or because they want to manipulate or control someone…just for the feeling of being in control. Granted, that’s jacked up.
So why do people hold back and play at pretending like they don’t like someone as much as they actually do? I guess because we’re all damaged goods, really. It would be naive to think, by the time we’re our age, that there are people out there completely undamaged by past relationships. Everyone has something to get over. So courtship, the beginnings of getting to know someone, is surrounded by the little dances we do and the pretend-non-feelings, and the oh-i-can’t-call-so-soon because there’s the chance that this relationship, which isn’t even a relationship yet, might go down in flames like the last one.
So here’s what I say: screw past relationships! Fuck ’em! The next person you meet is completely different from the last person you met! Girls, call your guys! Tell them that you like them! Maybe even…(the horror!!)…ask them out! What have you got to lose? A guy that won’t go out with you because you asked first is a guy who has his priorities all messed up. Guys – don’t wait three days. The girl you’re thinking of calling is a hot commodity! You need to jump on the stick (or let HER do it) or someone’s going to beat you to it. Why wait? Be real! Be honest! Show someone how you really feel, it can’t hurt. Unless of course they don’t like you back, in which case then it could hurt, but at least you’d know, right? And why waste time on someone who can’t or won’t appreciate you? Be real, be authentic, be yourself. Here ends today’s lesson.