So I really wanted to write about something thought provoking and meaningful, really. I did. But for some reason I’m not feeling the profound tonight yet, so I decided instead to write about why Dog and my ex boyfriend are similar, but Dog is better. I thought about this today while I was on my way to work. I even wrote down the more salient points because I was afraid I would forget. So many good thoughts leak out of my head during the day that I thought that might be a good idea.
- He has peed in a/the house…Seriously, they have this in common. Points to Dog because he looks ashamed after he does it. Also, he was never drunk at the time.
- We sleep in the same bed and never have sex. Points to Dog because for obvious reasons, I’m okay with that. Actual negative points to bf because for equally obvious reasons, I was NOT okay with THAT.
- He gives me puppy dog eyes when he’s in trouble. Points to Dog because I don’t want to slap the everloving shit out of him for it.
- He listens when I’m talking to him. Points to Dog because it’s not because he fell asleep.
- He’s kinda dumb. I mean, okay, he’s smart for being The Dog, alright? But we’re talking a Dog and a BF on the same intellectual level. Points to Dog.
- I rescued him from jail. Okay that’s not a similarity but it was funny. For a second.
- He sleeps sprawled across my back. The weight differential is all the explanation needed why Dog wins this one.
There’s probably more similarities, I’m sure, but my Cup-O-Soup is getting cold. Maybe I’ll do a second installment. Or maybe next it will be, “How Cat is like my Potted Plant”. Stay tuned, O Faithful Readers! (I get to use plural now. Very exciting.)