donshu tush me

As you know, it was Cinco De Mayo this weekend. As you probably guessed, I celebrated. Fun times. Any holiday that is celebrated by drinking large quantities of alcoholic beverages is my favorite.

Friday night was absolutely, unequivocally the most fun we’ve had in a while. For the record: photo-booths are a super addition to night with Family Von N, and blind dates are definitely not. Karaoke, however, is always on the agenda, and any time the Family von N can get treated up close and personal to a full rear view, we definitely have good times.

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The N’s celebrated with Pope, our myspace buddy (say “Hi”, Pope!) and his friend Tim. There was even an episode of drunken hijinx that could possibly have been interpreted as swing dancing. If you were in an alternate universe and swing dancing looked like two drunked members of the Family von N gyrating wildly, involving voluble arguments over who was the guy. I got a T Shirt from one of the waitresses that says “Be COINTREAUversial” on it. I love it. I shall wear it often. We also were given these interesting little shot glasses. We discussed at length whether these shot glasses were broken (note the pronounced list); but upon comparison, they all did that. It was determined that it was made that way in order to confound drunked people.

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Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately) there were no further incidences as occurred last time I went out, but there was much wincing as hugs and backslaps were administered to my person.

Saturday night started out a little lower-key, with just myself and No N in attendance. We started out at our favorite little neighborhood bar (seriously: the place is located right in the middle of a residential section of town), complete with our most favorite bartender ever, Darryl.

We finished the evening at a newer place just down the street from our respective homes, in a charming little dive bar replete with black lights, an okay band, and multiply-tattooed patrons. I handed out several cards for my main tattoo man, Angel, and made conversation with his brother the bouncer and various assorted buddies.

No N and I made new friends and acquaintances, always a good time, and took many fabulous pictures. I did actually offend a woman who told me never to touch her again; I guess I get that way sometimes.

What actually happened was that this woman behind me at the bar commented on my tattoo. I turned around, and we engaged in conversation, during which she slurred on and on about how irritating it was when people grab you in an attempt to look at your tattoo. In what was perhaps the least advisable move to make in that situation, I wholeheartedly agreed and demonstrated such a move. On her. She didn’t like it.

Five minutes after the conversation ended, she tapped me on the shoulder and managed to get out: “Donshu do that, donshu you tush me.”

Tush her? “Okay, you got it. Sorry about that.” And I turned back around.

The reality is, here, is that I totally violated her space bubble. I didn’t think about it at the time, but I did. Seems that she didn’t like it, and continued at length on how I shouldn’t do that. People, this woman was drunked. Seriously. She sounded like she had a mouthful of oatmeal.

Everyone asked me what was going on, and I shrugged and said, “I dunno, I pissed her off. I grabbed her arm during our conversation and she didn’t like it.” To which she had more commentary, since she was still stationed right behind me, but I already tuned her out. I am nothing if not open and loud-mouthed, yeah?

So there was that.

Today as previously mentioned, I spent some time recuperating. Having no hangovers is a good thing, because otherwise I think I would spend my weekends being alternately drunk and sick and sleeping.

So that was my weekend. What did you guys do?

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