family von n vs. taco hell dude

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Okay! I’ve returned and I am (at least partially) back on track. I have posted a 100 Miles, updated the Lexicon and the Blogalog, and I have read and commented on almost all of my subscription posts. Sorry if you got a comment like five days after you posted the blog. Better late than never though, right?

So the usual Sunday recap of the weekend.

Firstly, perhaps you have noticed my new profile pic. This is courtesy of Friday night with the Family von N at a Seattle martini bar. When I need entertainment, I take self portraits, pictures of my friends, and encourage them to take pictures of me in various states of dorkiness. Profile pic, case in point.

Following said Seattle adventure, the Family decided that it was time to call it a night, but not before a trip to Taco Hell.

Some backstory: I, 2N, have never (voluntarily) been through a Taco Hell drivethrough. I frequently make jokes about the contents of the meat they put in their tacos. I like Taco Time. I have never been excited about Taco Hell. However, it was midnight, and they were open, and the Family needed some sustenance, so into the drivethrough we went.

Please bear with me as I try to remember the names of all the savory dishes we ordered. We’ve discussed my memory issues.

No N asked if they still had the Crunchy Wrap Supreme. I relayed the question to the helpful Taco Hell dude through the microphone.

2N: “Do you guys still have the…What was it?” (This last was to No N, who reconfirmed the name of the item) “…The Crunch Wrap Supreme thing?”

Taco Hell Dude: “Okay, one Crunch Wrap Supreme. Anything else?”

2N: “No, I’m asking if you have it.” So obviously they have it, since he just entered the order, but I felt like clarifying anyway. There is a huge amount of giggling coming from the vicinity of the passenger and back seats.

THD: “Yes we have it. Anything else?”

2N: “Yes. Please hold.”

Conference between the members of the Family. 1N wants a quesadilla, with extra red sauce, and something else I can’t remember, with no sauce. I relay this to THD. He repeats. Again. Then asks if we need anything else. It’s now my turn.

As I’ve mentioned, I have never been to Taco Hell before. So I’m unfamiliar with the menu items, and it’s in my mind that I want a taco. Just a plain, regular, crunchy beef taco. I’m looking, and looking, and all I see are desserts and stuff like a Crunch Wrap Supreme, and other things that have no business on a supposedly Mexican-food themed fast food drive through.

2N: “So, do you guys have, you know, like, just a taco? Or something?”

Silence from THD. Gales and gales of hysterical giggling from the Family. Then,

THD: “Did you just ask if we have tacos? Um, yeah, you’re, like, at Taco Hell.”

Oh, he’s a fucking comedian, I see.

2N: “Oh, you’re a fucking comedian, I see. Give me a taco then. No Supreme Crunchy bullshit, either.”

He’s laughing. The Family are having fits. He asks, “Yeah, okay, one taco. Is there anything else?”

More giggling from behind me.

“Yeah, you got anything to shut these bitches up?”

For a split second, I thought I went too far. Then No N starts laughing even harder, and from the back seat, between giggles, 1N cries, “2N! Are you mad?!”

I’m fucking golden.

We get to the drivethrough. THD is frickin’ amused. Great for him. It’s six bucks. We all pull out whatever miscellaneous bills we have on our persons, hand them to the driver (me), and I shove a fistful of dollars at him after a quick count. Six? Yep. Good.

After making sure that the THD loves us and doesn’t hate us for calling him a fucking comedian, we drive away.

TFVN: 1, THD: 0. We win.

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