lfb: space camp lessons

LFB

That’s right kids! What day is it?

LFB DAY!!!!!! Woot!

This time it’s another story, theme  “This one time, at space camp…” and we’re to include jagermeister and a chalkboard. Enjoy, then follow the links to view the stories by the other LFBers.

Happy LFB Day!


2206.08.15 20:15 (voice recording)

So it’s the first day of Space Camp and I’m so excited! My mom and dad both went and said it was so much fun, I’m so proud to follow in their footsteps!

Everything went really well this morning. The shuttle to the Lunar Base 2001 went smoothly, the pilot was an expert and hardly even bumped us when we landed. I had to surreptitiously check my backpack to make sure that my bottle of jagermeister was still intact…what a shame it would have been had I stolen it from the mom & dad’s liquor cabinet only to have it break enroute!

They unloaded us this morning at 0930, and let me tell you…nothing could have prepared me for the sight. The lunar base is like this big, round bubble sticking up out of the moon rock. It’s kind of transparent, so you can see the buildings and stuff inside, but because of the simulated atmosphere, everything inside is kind of hazy. The buildings aren’t much to look at, nothing like what we have on Earth, but still…just the fact that they’re on the moon (the moon, for chrissakes!) makes them seem wierd and exotic. I was so excited disembarking from the shuttle that I thought I was going to pee my pants like a thirteen year old boy at his first sight of naked boobs!

They directed us to our bunkers, which seemed to be smack in the middle of the complex. There’s no trees or plants here, just silvery buildings and zooming shuttlecars. I settled in pretty quickly, making sure that my jager was stashed safely under the bed, and unloaded all my crap into the little dressers next to the bed. Everything is metal except for the bed, which is made out of this foamy stuff that holds the impression of my body for a while even after I get up. I like my bed at home better, it’s one of the new hover models, you know, the one where they advertise a wrecking ball can’t even make it move? It’s totally comfortable.

So tomorrow is the first full day, we have classes all morning. I think I’ll make sure to bring my jager with me, you know…just in case.

2006.08.16 10:45 (voice recording)

Well the first classes really were nothing to write home about. Mostly just hydroponics and how the moon base was built. Blah blah blah. Where’s the adventure and battles? This kind of sucks so far.

2006.08.16 14:42 (voice recording)

Okay, so I snuck away from class. I’m going exploring! I already tucked into my jager, day-um! Mom never told me how bad it burns! That is, until it makes my insides all warm and fuzzy…where was I?

Oh yeah, so I snuck away and I’m currently looking around some empty classrooms. There’s this one door that’s locked that I’m not sure what’s inside, but I’m totally going to find out. I can’t stand the curiosity!

2006.08.16 15:34 (voice recording)

Okay! I found a key! Well, sort of a key, it’s a white card that you just kind of wave over the touchpad and the door opens. I’m entering the room, now.

Everything is really, really dark. I can’t see very much – oh DAMN!

(sounds of scuffling and swearing)

Damn! I just totally walked smack into something! If I didn’t know any better I’d think it was like one of those old chalkboards I’ve seen pictures of, the ones they used to use in Earth school like a billion years ago.

Wow! In fact, everything in here is ancient! I don’t even know what half this stuff is! There’s a thing here on wheels, like a long board or something. And over here is something with two large wheels attached with sticks…I think it’s what they used to call a ‘bicycle’. Holy crap! This is so cool!

(long pause, shuffling noises)

Holy crap! There’s like, a hole here or something in the floor. I wonder why it’s here or where it goes.

(more pauses and shuffling, as if narrator is getting down on hands and knees)

Spaceballs! I’m sticking my head in here and it’s totally black! There’s like, NOTHING! I mean….oh wait! Here’s something! I wonder whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!…………….

(Transmission is interrupted as it appears the narrator has fallen into the hole and dropped the voice recorder. Further transmission is garbled and barely audible, but through our advanced technology we’ve been able to reconstruct the following conversation.)

Voice 1: Human! At last!

Narrator: (groaning) Whaaaa?? What happened? Where the hell am I?

V1: You are just in time! We have waited so [indecipherable] for you to join us! So long!

Narrator: Huh? Am I [indecipherable] drunked?

V1: Drunked? No. You’ve fallen through the last remaining portal between the universe you know and this one. Welcome to the galaxy known as [indecipherable]. You are just in time to help us kick the living [indecipherable] out of the evil dictator Martinius Maximous who is trying to [indecipherable] our world. Come! Come human! You will [indecipherable] us to [indecipherable] glory!

************* End Transmission *************

The Space Camp Counselor flicked on the lights and walked to the front of the room, drawing all eyes to her as she went.

“And THAT, class, is why you NEVER skip a Space Camp session.”

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