the interview

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This is so far overdue it isn’t even funny anymore.

Although the questions are not unique, they are still fun, and because I love Lindsay to death, I am giving it my best shot.

1. What word makes you cringe when you hear it?

Oh, there are so many. I hate the word potion. Motion, also. Basically anything that ends in or has “otion” in it: lotion, portion, etc. There’s a few others, I’m sure. Oh, and believe it or not, I used to have a really hard time typing “fuck”. Not because I don’t say it, because I do…just that something about it seemed so CRUDE somehow.

You can tell I’ve gotten over that.

2. What do you think happens to you when you die?

Ack.  This is like, my worst fear ever. I can’t decide whether I would rather be completely oblivious for the rest of eternity, and therefore not aware of what I’m missing out by not being ALIVE, or whether I want to go to Heaven. Or Hell, which I suppose is possible. I say this at the risk of alienating my entire religious readership, but there you have it.

It may not seem so, but I am religious, to an extent. I beleive that when I die I will be reunited with my family and friends that have passed on, and will spend eternity in fields of flowers and sunshine and happiness. And I am equally certain that before too long, I will be wishing for reincarnation to save me from utter boredom.

Let’s hope it doesn’t work out that way.

3. If you could be invisible for one day, what would you do?


I would run naked through the city. I would go naked everywhere. First I would call in sick to work, then I’d go there, just to say that I ran through the office butt naked. Then I would go for a walk along the waterfront, and then perhaps take a l’il skinny dip in the middle of the day. There is nothing like swimming naked in the middle of the day. I would, naturally, pick a sunny day for my little exercise.

4. Would you rather be the villian? or the hero?

Hmm. Sometimes the so-called villain IS the hero. Generally I find heros to be far too self-righteous for my taste. Full of their own importance, and all that. Villains are much more interesting, especially those with the hearts of gold. Which mine would be, of course.

5. Where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?

HAHAHAHAHA! That would be divulging far too many intimate details of my past. Is it the time I did it in the partially collapsed tent in a city park? Is it the time I did it at the top of the Space Needle? Is it the time I did it in broad daylight in the middle of the woods? I’ll never tell.

I’ll never tell if those are true or made up, either.

Would you like to be interviewed? Say so, immediately. Consider this an open forum to ask any additional questions you want. Talking about myself is my second-favoritist hobby.

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