I have to say that it really doesn’t matter to me what kind of stupid plastic cars that Chevron gives away when you fill up your tank, or for the fact that the 76 station down the street has deals on their Slurpees or whatever, or even that I can get a discounted car wash at the Shell station at the other end of town.
None of that really makes up for the fact that gas is almost three and a half dollars.
If you want to offer a promotion, why not DISCOUNT YOUR GAS? Why not offer gas for like twenty cents a gallon less than the guy down the street and make up in quantity what you might lose in straight profit? For fuck’s sake. It makes me sick to think that it costs me over forty bucks to fill my tank, when less than a year ago it was twenty-five bucks, and even that I thought was a little extreme.
Seriously, what good is a stupid smiling car going to do me when I’m being raped at the gas pump? Is it supposed to make me feel better that I got a Slurpee two-for-one when I’m spending twice as much as I was three years ago? A discounted car wash? What is that, like a whole two dollars off for letting some big machine with plastic feelers to rub all the dirt INTO my car and smearing it across the windshield and calling it a car wash?
I have to say that I like Safeway’s deal, they have cheap(er) gas anyway, and then they give 10 cents off a gallon per visit to the gas pump every time you spend fifty bucks or more in the store. Since I shop there all the time, I get that discount almost every time, which is cool.
The rest of these pricks? Give me a free pack of smokes? Okay. Discount my gas? Have a punch card for gallons of gas purchased? All great promotions. Give me a free car or a two-dollar-off car wash? Fuck off, that’s what I have to say. Take your plastic car and shove it up your collective asses, you gasoline panda-jerks.
(Can you tell it’s PMS time again?)