what happened with the mouse

Okay, so. Here’s what happened.

The other day, I’m trying to get laundry done, right? I mean, like a freaking marathon of laundry all day long.

Mid-marathon, I’m pulling the laundry out of the washer and I see this:

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Now, my first thought is…”is that what I think it is?” My second thought is “and how long has THAT been there?” followed immediately by “OMIGOD! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!”

Needless to say, laundry production stopped immediately and with a quickness. If you can tell, the little bugger is all the way up inside the water spout and wedged into this tiny tiny hole. I have NO IDEA how it got there.

After I’m done being grossed out and trying to figure out how this happened, a call to PVDD was initated, complete with many “EW”s and “This is soooooooo gross!” to which he promised to attend to the little fucker as soon as he got home.

Now, PVDD, as you may know, works the late shift and gets home around 3 or so. In the morning, when I got up, I could see the top had been taken off the washer and now we had two little feet hanging down in addition to the tail, but it was still very much still stuck up in there. That was just the confirmation that I needed: it was indeed a mouse. A drownded mouse.

Once PVDD reawakened, it was back to mouse-extraction duty, except this time with the super-ultra-gription work gloves:

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So he’s in there working on it and I am in the kitchen, and I’m mostly hearing nothing until…”HOLY SHIT!” followed by a “I PULLED OUT THE TAIL!”:

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He pulled the goddamn tail off the goddamn mouse.

After we’re both done capering about in total disgust, he goes back to it. I’m on hold for a conference call, when this time I hear…”OH MY GOD!!!! IT STARTED TO TEAR!!!!!!” followed by much shaking of hands and a screwed up pukey face. I swear, there was squealing. Squealing. From two grown adults. I mean, squealing like two stuck pigs just minutes away from the chopping block. High pitched, embarrassing, and awful. Just picture it, if you can. He’s hauling on the stupid thing, and all of a sudden he can HEAR and FEEL the skin and muscle and whatever else just…ripping. GROSS!

Tearing of mouse skins, squealing and squeamishness aside, PVDD was, of course, victorious in the end:

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(Is that not the most DISGUSTING THING EVER!!??!!?!)

Now, I don’t know how it got in there. The only thing I can think of is like No N suggested, maybe it was IN the laundry when I put it into the washer, then when the water rose, it scrambled its way up into the down spout. Or something. I have no fucking clue. However, we’re thinking it needs to be tacked up on the wall as a object lesson for all those other little fuckers running around the laundry room:

“Caution: proceed at your own risk. Side effects may include drowning and post-humous dismemberment.”

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