mindless entertainment

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I have two options on blogs to post tonight. One is utterly mindless and hopefully mildly amusing, and one is probably a little melancholy and tear jerkery.

I’m going with mindless. If I stay awake long enough I might post the tear jerkery one, but, you know. I can only take so much of my own melodrama in one week.

So okay. Through work I have one of those neat Treo phones, right? And it has this feature that when you’re writing either an email or a text message, it will try to guess the word you’re typing. It comes stocked with certain words that I guess everyone uses, and then it remembers words you type (even if you only typed them once).

As I have been texting on this phone over the last however many years, I have started to see some really wierd things pop up when I start typing a word. Now, I imagine that whoever gets assigned this phone after I do will still have these words that I have added to the phone’s vocabulary. For the fun of it (and YES I went through every two letter combination in the alphabet (OCD? What?)), I thought I’d share what pops up sometimes. Now, some of the words were interesting in a random sort of way, and some cracked me up because I know I use them in my written communication all the time. Ideally not work communication, but I am here to tell you it’s very easy to accidentally hit the “select” then “okay” and send out your work email with “pooped” instead of “possible”. Just sayin’.

So anyway I went through these combinations and here’s the funniest/most ironic:

“bo” = “boobs”
“se” = “seriously”
“fr” = “frickin'”
“ja” = “jacked”
“ba” = “bastard”
“bl” = “blogs”
“cr” = “CRANKY” (in big letters!)
“da” = “dammit”
“dr” = “drunked”
“du” = “dunno”
“fa” = “farted”
“fu” = “fucking”
“gi” = “giddyup”
“gr” = “greezy”
“ha” = “HAHAHAHAHAHA” (also in big letters)
“je” = “jeepers”
“ka” = “karaoke”
“la” = “lameass”
“lo” = “lolol”
“mu” =  “muffincakes”
“na” = “napping”
“ni” = “nipples”
“pf” = “pffffbbbbbttttt”
“pi” = “PISSED”
“po” = “pooped”
“pr” = “prefunk”
“pu” = “puked”
“sh” = “shitter”
“st” = “stoked”
“su” = “sucks”
“te” = “texting”
“tr” = “tramp”
“uu” = “UUUUUUUUGLY”
“vi” = “vibrating”
“wo” = “wooooot”
“yi” = “yikes”

Don’t hate. I told you it was mindless.

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