ode to my hat.

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It truly is amazing what comes out of the woodwork when you post a pic of yourself with the word “Porn” in it.

So far this morning, I have been asked whether I’d like to share too-hot-for-Myspace pics, how many movies I’ve made, and a rather innocuous sounding “Hi, how was your weekend?” (that’s how they reel you in…next it will be ‘I had a great weekend too, here’s a picture of my penis’). It’s not even noon yet, for crying out loud.

Pft.

oh, yeah. most definitely.
oh, yeah. most definitely.

I wore the hat out last night, and wouldn’t you know it, there was a bikini contest at the bar I went to. My friends and I settled in to entertain ourselves watching, betting on the percentage of tramp stamps we’d see on the participants. I was guessing 95%. I lost, though, because all THREE of the contestants had it. Seriously, as you know, I WOULD have participated, it’s just that, wouldn’t you know it, I seem to have misplaced my bikini. Or it’s in the laundry. Being drycleaned? Something like that. It’s a shame, really. If it was a wet T-Shirt contest, now…that would have been something different entirely.

Nonetheless, it was mildly entertaining. Especially when some old guy with a front row seat asked me if I was participating in the contest on my way back from getting a drink. Once I picked myself up off the floor and caught my breath from laughing my head off, I said, quite kindly, I think, “Hell no.”

To which HE replied, “Why not? You’re a porn star, aren’t you?” I said, quite logically, “I don’t have to wear a bikini to be a porn star.”

I really actually think he really did think I was a porn star…he kept stopping me every time I walked by with some lame half-ass jokes about having sex on video. Which, while sort of flattering, was a little creepy considering he was not only old enough to be my father, but was creeping up on grandfather status even. Yechh.

We’ll see how the day progresses. With luck, I might have some entertaining emails to share with everyone by tomorrow.

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