Yet another Google search I can’t recommend: sunburns on the butt.
Why was I googling this, you ask?
Because today’s blog post has to do both with a sunburn experience when I was much, much younger than the older, wiser person I am today, and the ferocious sunburn I achieved this last weekend while hanging out at a beach in Los Angeles.
Sadly, my Google search yielded pictures…and funny stories…but nothing I felt fully illustrated this post successfully (and tastefully). Not that I’m super concerned with being tasteful, but, you know. Some of you may be viewing this in places like, I don’t know, work? And if so an enormous picture of a sunburned ass might not be the thing for moving up the corporate ladder.
Therefore, I shall confine myself to words for the earlier portion of today’s broadcast regarding sun worship gone awry.
When your beloved 2N was much, much younger, I was sunbathing one day in nothing but a thong, when the then-Mr.-2N decided to slather suntan oil all over my butt while claiming it was sunblock. A few hours later, my ass looked just like those ones you’ll see if you chance the google described above.
Should you not desire to do so, let me just say that it was some kind of color between cherry red and fire red, and it was so crispy that it crackled.
Suffice to say I couldn’t sit for several days. I don’t have pictures of this, a) because I’m pretty sure it was prior to the invention of the digital camera, and b) who wants to really see a picture of a sunburned ass?
Thankfully, the burn I got this last weekend was not as bad. I only have a few pictures because I was taking them myself and some of them are in…sensitive places so forgive me for the lack of my customary illustration. These pics are a couple days after it happened so they aren’t as bad as it was, the leg is actually the worst but it doesn’t show up well in this pic.
And yes, RGG did indeed tell me so, and I didn’t listen.
The worst part about it is that I was sitting with the sun on my left, so my legs and arms are two different colors. I feel like if I was going to get a sunburn, I could have at least done something halfway creative, such as this fine gentleman did.
Oh well, maybe next time.