on the having of the sex.

One comment

I had a date on Monday night.


Well, a real date I mean, with a guy. Not a bed. Or a minion.

I considered canceling earlier in the day, for a few different reasons – I had more customization on my blog to do, games to play, house to clean, you know. Important stuff like that. Also I was pretty sure the guy was going to try to pressure me to have sex.

Which in and of itself is pretty flattering, I guess. You know, pretty good looking guy, excited to hang out, excited to have sex. With you. Similarly to all the starving kids in Africa that would gladly take the dinner that I didn’t want to eat when I was a kid, I’m sure there are folks that would think I’m a big jerk for turning down a perfectly respectable guy just for something silly like that.


The problem is, I don’t really want a boyfriend. I don’t think. I want to do the flirt thing, and the date thing, and the get dressed up and go out to dinner thing, and the kiss and make out thing, but I don’t really want to do the have sex and be committed thing. But honestly I don’t know if there are any guys left that want to just “date” like that. They all either want to get married and have kids like yesterday, or all they want is one or more quick wham-bam(s) without even trying to be friends first. I especially don’t want to give it up on the first date. Call me old fashioned. But I really feel like we should at least know a little something about who each other are before letting each other see and touch our naked bodies (and do all kinds of other yummy things with them).

Having sex without some kind of foundation of respect and mutual friendship is way outside my pay grade. Even if I’m not looking for a relationship, even if I wanted casual sex, I wouldn’t want it to be with a stranger or with someone that has no real caring for me even as just another person. Ideally it would be a guy I felt little to no romantic feelings for, was reasonably attractive, that I respected as a person and a friend, where our friendship didn’t start and end inside the bedroom (or, you know, the car. Or the bathroom. Sometimes guys just don’t care). He would just be a friend I happened to sleep with sometimes. Friends with benefits? Maybe. Those aren’t always as fun as they sound, surprisingly.

Does that even exist anymore? Or is that just a non-romantic actual relationship? I have no idea.

Oh and the date? I should have cancelled…he never texted back.

1 comments on “on the having of the sex.”

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