being mom

well, it happened

Remember way back when, when Kid was turning six and wanted me to announce that today was his very-special-extremely-important day?

Yes.

It seems like yesterday.

And then, last weekend, this happened.

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No, but seriously, it did.

NOT ONLY did he turn eighteen last year (as you will recall, he was in fact born in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand, which apparently was one of the things I did best as Mom), but this year he went ahead and graduated high school.

We all knew this day was coming, I guess. I just have a hard time seeing myself as someone old enough to be the parental unit of someone else that is now in actuality graduating from high school.

I mean.

On the one hand, I am sooooooo glad and relieved that he accomplished something I never did. On the other hand, now he’s going to go out and make his way in this world, and what if something happens? What if he gets knocked around by life and there’s nothing I can do to fix it?

I guess, what if a meteor falls from the sky and lands on me while I’m walking Dog? There’s really no point in worrying about something I can’t control. What I’m struggling with is the hope that between all of us, we created a human being that is respectful, responsible, and good, a human being that is going to grow up to be a valuable member of society, and the fear that somewhere along the way, some mistake of mine will cause him hardship or pain.

I know this is what all mothers worry about, and I know I’m certainly not the first or the last to worry about this. I just don’t know how other moms make it look so easy and natural.

I’m so proud of him. I believe in him. And I have to believe that just like a meteor is highly unlikely to fall out of the sky and squish me while I’m partaking of my daily constitutional, it’s unlikely that I’ve screwed up so bad that he won’t have the best, most awesome life possible.

So I’ll hold on to that, as he moves forward in life. I did make him promise to still hang out with me even after he moves away. Which hopefully will not be soon (but equally hopefully, not too far down the road either).

Bon voyage, son. I love you. I know you will live well.

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