Hot, dry, and dusty. That was the only way to describe the hot griddle that passed for a roadway winding its way through the valley. The sun beat down mercilessly, causing heat waves to ripple and shimmer like rivers flowing upwards from the ground towards the sky. A hawk circled high above the desert floor,… Continue reading lfb: at-frickin’-LAST! (or: coyote vs roadrunner)
I came to slowly. It took a moment to recognize that I was completely immobile. I tried shifting my eyes, but they were stuck open and looking straight ahead. I appeared to be floating in a big vat of water, or something. My hair drifted in front of my eyes, but I could do nothing… Continue reading lfb: meow.
Hello. This is quite possibly the last thing I will ever write. He's after me, I know he is. I feel that this is my last chance to relate to the world what happened last week while I visited my friendly local ghetto supermarket. I know he saw me, and he's after me, but hopefully… Continue reading lfb: grocery store massacre
Good evening, kids! Today's LFB assignment was to write a blog from one of the other LFB blogger's perspective. It's up to you, dear audience members, to research and decide who I'm trying (in my pitifully insufficient way) to imitate. The day started like any other day, I suppose. I woke up a little disoriented,… Continue reading lfb: a day in the life
Once upon a time... No. Scratch that. This ain't no regular fairytale, my friends. This here's the story of Ray. Ray was...well, we'll just call him well-endowed. In school, Ray was always picked on. He was too nervous to change in the locker rooms. The other boys beat him up out of sheer jealousy. He… Continue reading lfb: making the most of it
As I sashayed my dirty mouthy hooker ass into the bar, I could feel that it was going to be a good night. It was summer, my favorite time of year. I was wearing my favorite skimpy tank top that showed off my tattoo to perfection, my skin was a perfect golden brown, and the… Continue reading lfb: what women want
This of course will make more sense if you read the Police Report filed on Thursday morning. Even more sense if you read this blog about Oreos and the comments in this blog. Monday, June 5, 2006 Dear Diary, I had another one of my blackouts today. This is getting a little wierd, and frankly, I'm a little freaked out.… Continue reading lfb: a tale of two minds