Okay so I just had to run upstairs to write about this really quick. I was on my way to get some jammies on my naked self (calm down, not the point of this story) when what should I hear from the t.v. but something about shoving food up one’s ass.

And not just any bit of food, but an entire turkey, no less.

Whaaaaaaaat?

So I stop. Back up. Stand in front of the t.v. for three minutes to observe a cartoonish character with bad hair (whom I can only assume is Martha Stewart) demonstrating how, in order to shove a turkey up one’s ass, one must first saturate said turkey with plenty of lubricant. Of course.

Then one must bake at some specified temperature for some amount of time (I have a crappy short term memory. Especially when it comes to cooking). The next step is to place turkey upright on the floor, and squat on it.

After much grunting and squatting and forcing of said turkey up what I am assuming is her ass, Martha stands up and triumphantly announces, “And THAT is how to eat a turkey!”

And who said nothing good ever came from Canada, eh?