Topic: Tax Day

Who comes up with a topic like TAX DAY anyway? For fuck’s sake.

I hate taxes. I hate having to worry about paying taxes. I hate the paperwork and the deadline and the stress I feel every day I put it off.

All of which, of course, is just a reflection of my shitty attitude about taxes.

I just saw Stranger Than Fiction the other day. Now why can’t being audited be like that? I loved it when all the people in the bakery yelled “TAX MAN!” at Will Farrell’s character. How cool would that be?

I mean, tax men used to be stoned to death. How satisfying.

I like thinking that I pay these taxes and some women’s shelter somewhere gets some tax dollars, or some school gets some new computers. I don’t even mind paying into Social Security or whatever. I don’t fool myself that more than just a tiny fraction goes to that, though. I’m pretty sure that most of it goes to finance the war and other Bush initiatives that we haven’t even heard about yet.

However, I know that in real life tax men don’t look like Will Farrell, and they don’t fall in love with you and give you handy tax tips, and you don’t really get a chance to yell “TAX MAN!” at the guy coming to audit you. You don’t even really get to stone one to death anymore.

Which is a shame. I think it’d be cool.

(Don’t worry, that’s all just my PMS talking. This, too, shall pass.)