So here’s some handy tips I learned today while flying from home base in Tacoma to L.A., California. Mostly it’s a summary of all the things I forgot. I have decided that rather than be embarrassed about the fact that I am completely forgetful, I might as well use my experiences and turn them into a handy tip guide for travelers like me who wouldn’t remember their heads if they weren’t already attached.

  1. Don’t forget sunglasses when traveling to a location that is typically sunnier than your hometown.
  2. Don’t wear button-down blouses on the plane. It’s most disconcerting to try juggling laptop, purse, and suitcase and having your shirt pop open down to your navel. Most especially when you can’t spare a hand to button it back up again.
  3. Don’t forget to pack jammies. It’s uncomfortable to go outside to have a cigarette otherwise.
  4. Get matches! It really really sucks to be able to have your first cigarette in 5 hours and not be able to find a light because they took your lighter away from you because they were afraid you’d hold up the plane by flicking your Bic in a threatening manner.
  5. Have cash. For some reason taxi drivers don’t let you have your bags back in one piece if you don’t tip. And they never carry more than $5 in change (which is a TOTAL SCAM by the way) so you end up giving them extra cash.
  6. Never assume that the credit card is only to “hold” your room. You will be without cash in the amount of the room charges for up to 72 hours AFTER the bill is paid on your corporate credit card.
  7. Looking for the smoking section? Walk until your feet fall off, find a dark corner, and look for the “Designated Smoking Area” sign.
  8. Never believe everything the travel department tells you. You actually have to CALL AHEAD for the hotel shuttle. Additionally, don’t wait till 45 minutes pass to actually call the hotel.
  9. And last but not least: however cool it would be, adult movies are not expensable.

2N travel: day one.