When I decide to throw calorie counting to the winds, I like to do it in a highly visible, extremely obnoxious fashion.

I bring you: karaoke night at our favorite divey karaoke bar from back in the day.

Similar to the monthly coffee date, last night was a wonderfully long walk down memory lane, in which I proved that I could still put them back like it was 2006, sang my heart out like it was 2009, and had a lady cry on my shoulder like it was…well, honestly that’s a new one. I’ve never had that happen before.

The night started innocently enough, with BandGeek driving and me taking selfies to entertain myself.

Then the crew showed up (and normally I would spend time crafting clever and fitting code names for everyone but my brain is not currently highly functional and I’m far too lazy to go look up whatever names I’ve used in the past, so you get what you get): Rock-it Man, Lima Bean, NaNa, Captain Nerd Brigade, and of course, 1N.

6 nectarinis, 1 pineapple upside down cake and 1 jager bomb later (and that was just me), things were going downhill incredibly swiftly. It’s not unusual. You kind of have to expect it. I justify this to myself by remembering that because BandGeek, NaNa, and Captain Nerd Brigade don’t drink, I a) always have a designated driver, and b) have a moral obligation to make that sacrifice worthwhile.

What made last night awesome was old, old friends connecting in our old hangout singing all our old songs. It was literally like reliving any number of nights from my dissolute youth. Pure amazingness. I am also in debt to NaNa for ensuring I had a stack of napkins to alleviate my anxiety over table rings:

As I think I’ve discussed before, but am too lazy to go find the reference, we like to do certain songs with interpretive dance. Being that we are all lazy assholes we don’t actually get up and dance, we just make up movements, like waving arms above your head for “day” or fluttering your fingers down from the sky for “snow”. Think Napoleon Dynamite. One of our old school favorites for this activity is “The Rose” by Bette Midler…or 2N, if you are at the Bird on a 2N karaoke night. It’s really just a way for the audience to participate in the song and add extra layers of meaning (“meaning”) to the karaoke stylings of the Bird patrons.

I don’t have a picture to share, unfortunately, however after last night’s performance (or maybe “performance” is better) there was a lady who called me over to tell me that my song meant a lot to her because her grandson (I think, I was three sheets to the wind by that time and I honestly can’t remember) is deaf and everyone thinks he can’t appreciate music. She was crying. She made sure to point that out.

At this point I’m basically feeling terrible because I literally have no idea how to do sign language and certainly had no intent to make it seem like I did. But maybe that wasn’t her point, since I assume if her grandson is deaf she knows very well that none of what we were doing could be sign language in any form, but she was still touched and that made me feel good.

On the way home I tried to do a couple video logs which didn’t pan out, made BandGeek practice a bunch of sappy duet songs with me…

…then achieved literal Mom of the Year status upon reaching home and informing the Kid that when he is in fact 21 I will take him to the bar where I will then proceed to drink him under the table. He went ahead and poured me a monster cup of water for my trouble.

Then he and BandGeek practiced guitar and I shut the hell up, because watching them, the two people I love most in the world, is the best way I can think of to end the night.