Friends, it grieves me to report that it appears that my trusty pedometer has counted its last step.
No more shall its cheerful digital readout confirm the pace of my steps, no more shall it smile with benificence upon my lost calories, no more shall I report with giddy glee on the number of steps I have taken today.
What wonderful times we shared! Well do I remember how joyously you would leap from my waistband to clatter upon the floor in exuberant declaration that you were included in my evening’s outing. How well I recall re-programming you every time you mischievously disgorged your battery. You did so enjoy your little jokes at my expense.
I have discovered suspicious looking teeth marks, approximately Dog-shaped, which leads to some concern over the cause of the my poor pedometer’s demise. It would seem that there is suspicion of pedo-cide; however, unprovable without a complete pedopsy. Results pending.
There is, however, still some small hope still that a new battery may prove to revive my hapless device, but these suggestions have yet to be acted upon. More information forthcoming from that sector.
In the meantime, please join me in bidding a tearful adieu to my faithful pedometer.
Goodbye, my friend.