do I need a Person?

Anyone who watches Grey’s Anatomy knows what a Person is.

For those that don’t, your Person is the one you call when everything is wrong, or right, or you just plain need someone to talk to. You can always count on your Person to welcome you even in the middle of the night and you need a place to stay. He or she is the first one you want to tell to when you see something funny, or sad, or maddening. The one you can download your day to.

In Grey’s Anatomy, Cristina and Meredith are People. Meredith is married, and for a while, so was Cristina, but they were still each others’ People. Cristina shows up at Meredith’s house in the middle of the night, they call each other from bed, from the bathroom, they FaceTime each other all day long. To be frank, it’s a little weird sometimes.

I’m sure I’m not wrong when I say that many would believe that if you’re married, your spouse should be your Person. Your spouse (or significant other, life partner, what have you) should be the one you take everything to, and you should be the Person for them.

To a point, I agree…but.

I do also think that there is an element to Cristina and Meredith’s sometimes-bizarro relationship that is actually a good thing in some ways. I do think it’s healthy to have interests and relationships outside of your Relationship, if you know what I mean.

When your Person is with you 24/7, isn’t there a danger that you will either take them for granted or find that one day you have nothing to talk about? Or maybe, the goal is that the right Relationship is also the Person that you never run out of things to talk about? I tend to find that when I have a life outside of a Relationship, that I bring things back to it that I might not otherwise. Different experiences, different perspectives, new stories.

On the other hand, there is a definite level of comfort to having your Person there, all the time, when you go to bed and when you wake up. It’s familiar, and safe, and it brings a level of intimacy that you might be missing out on were you to go elsewhere to find your Person.

Plus, being a Person for someone (in my opinion) requires that you know them pretty much as well as it’s possible to know someone. If that weren’t true, how would you be able to confide every thought that crosses your mind at any given time of day? I think you would have to know someone really well in order for that to work out.

I don’t think I know anyone that well. Or have anyone that knows me that well. And the more I think about it, the more I’m just not sure whether I ever could let someone into my life like that, Person or not, Relationship or not.

I do have some pretty cool People though, not sure if they’re Meredith-and-Cristina level of Persons, but still, while we’re on the subject, because we all know I can’t resist a good photo blog:

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